Writers: David M Kaufma, Michel Levesque
Director: Michel Levesque
What do you get if you cross a biker gang with a satanic cult? If you’re lucky, a non-stop thrill ride packed full of action, scares and a few laughs.
If you’re unlucky, Werewolves on Wheels.
There are some films I enjoy despite knowing that they’re rubbish. There are some films I enjoy because they’re rubbish. Werewolves on Wheels is too bad even to be a guilty pleasure.
The idea – I hesitate to call it a story – has an unpleasant biker gang (the ‘Devils Advocates’ – see what they did there?) visiting a monastery only to find it inhabited by satanists. The cultists try to sacrifice the gang’s single female member but, after we’ve had a few flashes of her tits, the rest of the gang rescue her. Unfortunately she’s now been turned into a werewolf and starts picking off the rest of the gang.
It really is ludicrous – and it’s done without an ounce of suspense, subtlety or humour. We don’t even get to see werewolves riding bikes; this isn’t ‘Easy Rider with lycanthropes’!
Werewolves as a metaphor for the bikers representing the dark side of humanity? Forget it. This is pure exploitation cinema for early ’70s movie goers fascinated by bikers, the occult and the occasional sight of female flesh.
Characterisation is non-existent: there’s the Gang Leader, the Female Biker and the One Who Reads Tarot Cards. The gang is pure stereotype – braindead, amoral hedonists. Dialogue is dreadful and cliched. And it’s probably a good thing that we don’t get to see much of the actual werewolf makeup…
Despite all that, Werewolves on Wheels might have been worth watching were it not for one fatal flaw.
It’s boring.